30/30 Day Four-Capture A Moment In Memory

at a given moment (importance of the moment is not relevant), try to capture everything going through your head.

The moment you were born
I was upset, I was tired, I was hungry.
Your mother was persistent on having you but
you were playing games, you kept sliding down
and going back up.
While I sat home pacing waiting for you to be born
hour and hours pasted us by while David went to school
and I babysat your aunts Dream and Destini
We waited and waited for the phone call then finally
after being home alone for hours on end
I got a phone call telling me that my mom, your grandmother
was on her way home
Then another phone call came that you'd be born by
C-section.
I was scared for you because they wanted you so badly.
I didnt want anything to happen to you, I was afraid when they
said you'd be in the hospital for a while.
Then I came and seen you and my world was permanently altered
you were everything that is a bundle of wrinkled joy and I fell in
love with you in that very moment and you became apart of me.
You looked like one of us with the added feature of your mothers
enlarged head, i hoped it wouldn't stay that size. I hoped that you wouldn't inherit your mother's body shape or your father's because seriously that would just be a hard punishment. I had to pray that you would be ok, because I had become attached to you
But honestly if you hadn't made it I don't know if I would have been affected
by your loss that is and maybe I'm not sorry for feeling this way. Maybe I might have felt happier when you were born if you weren't born into the situation that you were with an unstable relationship
unstable home
unstable parents
and just plain old force
you were forced to be here to hold a relationship together and that's not fair to you.
I want you to know that I love you the same as when you were in the womb and I love your parents too but the circumstances you were born under were unfair to my beloved niece and now that your here you have nothing to worry about because I will always protect you.

I couldn't help how much I felt the day you were born.
My Noodles